Opinion & Analysis
Avoid these 4 playing partners for a good season
With the beginning of summer comes the start to a fresh season of golf for those in the Northern states.
Warm weather equals golf and baseball and cold weather equals football and basketball (or hockey if that’s what you’re into).
Well, the weather is getting warm, so it’s time to scrape the dirt out of the golf spikes and grooves in the sand wedge. We’ve watched The Masters and The Players, but now it’s our turn to get into the swing of the season.
Jack Nicklaus always said that he would refresh his fundamentals at the beginning of each season, checking his grip, posture and alignment before embarking on his goals for the year. If it’s good enough for Jack, it’s probably good enough for us mere mortals.
This year, instead of just checking the fundamentals, I’m also suggesting to think about refreshing your overall outlook on the game of golf for the year. Golf is a mental game, and the more positivity emanating from you and the players in your foursome, the more fun you’ll have and the better you’ll play (in theory).
The obvious problem here is that golf, regardless of how much you love it, will at some point make you want to break the new driver you got for Christmas and cancel all remaining tee times for the season. Since golf is frustrating no matter how positive your outlook, maybe the goal should be to surround yourself with the best possible playing partners, rather than fixing your own mental game.
To make this process easier, I’ve compiled a list of playing partners to avoid this season, which will give you the best possible opportunity to stay positive and play to your potential.
The Sergio Garcia, a.k.a “The Complainer”
This, of course, is the person that whines their way through a round of golf. I never quite understood this particular golfer, but it’s obvious they would rather not be playing golf that day than enjoying the course and the challenges they face.
Key phrases to identify you are playing with the complainer:
- “ I can’t hit a good shot if there’s no sand in one bunker and too much in another.”
- “Every green so far has had a different speed, how can I get the speed right?”
- “The group ahead is too slow, I can’t play at this pace.”
- “Where’s the beverage cart girl?” (understandable complaint)
The Ben Crane, a.k.a. “The Turtle”
This is the player that simply takes too long. A couple putts over the course of a round require extra attention, and picking the right club on an approach shot could be critical to his/her score, but let’s hustle this thing up huh?
“But Tiger reads each and every putt from all 360 degrees around the hole” says the turtle.
Tiger is a billionaire athlete that has to validate sponsorships, silence critics and please millions of fans and followers worldwide that expect him to eclipse Jack Nicklaus’ coveted record of 18 major championships in order to cement himself as the best golfer of all time. The 5-footer for bogey on the 13th hole en route to a back nine 46 and a $5 Nassau needs only be looked at from 180 degrees or less. Or at least read the putt while your partner is playing.
Tell tale signs you’re playing with the turtle:
- 12+ practice swings
- 7+ waggles
- Excessive time reading the break of every green
- Overall relief when they finally hit
The Tiger Woods, a.k.a “The Hot Head”
You are not Tiger Woods (See Tiger Woods description above). Dropping and slamming clubs, making hand motions after missed putts, and cursing audibly should not be a part of the average golfers’ repertoire. We are not good enough to expect perfection with every swing or putt, so our reactions should not reflect the expectation of perfect. Misses happen, but making playing partners feel uncomfortable following a fit of rage is unacceptable. After all, what are they even so mad about? Rounds of golf are too short for all that negativity.
Phrases you’ll hear when playing with a hot head:
- “%@$*”
- “$@#!”
- Derogatory things about people’s mothers/families
- Other four letter words
The Butch Harmon, a.k.a. “The Know-it-all”
It’s always nice to have another pair of eyes looking at your swing to make sure everything looks OK. It’s even helpful to hear a couple guiding tips to improve upon your game. But it’s the guy that believes he’s a world-class golf instructor that gets under a golfers’ skin.
Not every swing needs to be corrected and analyzed. By the end of the round you’ll have 18 different swing thoughts, endless frustration and an ugly scorecard.
Phrases you’ll hear when playing with the know-it-all:
- “Keep your eye on the ball”
- “Keep your left arm straight”
- “You gotta turn your shoulders more on the backswing”
- “Limit hip rotation”
- “It’s all about weight shift”
The greatest thing about golf is meeting new people with different personalities and golfing experiences. Get to know them and listen to their stories. Don’t be so wrapped up in a couple strokes or bad shots that you lose sight of the more important things. Celebrate the game of golf this year and keep a positive attitude, but beware of the people that will negatively affect your mood or play on the course.
This past Monday, I played in the U.S. Amateur local qualifier at Rock Creek Country Club in Portland, Oregon. A full tee sheet from 7:30 a.m. to 1:55 p.m., the top 11 scores would make it to the U.S. Amateur final qualifying.
I teed off at 10:48 a.m.. With the 7:30 am tee time, you can get a feel for the leaders’ pace, and they were off and running on the challenging setup at Rock Creek.
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Getting to the highlight of the round on the par five 17th, a drive up the left side and 212 yards left to the front hole location. I took out a 5-iron with plans of middle of the green. The ball ended up 8 feet left of the hole, pin high. A slight downhill putt dropped in for an eagle 3 on the 17th. With the cut line looking to be anywhere from -2 to even par. This was the boost I had been waiting for all day.
With making par from the trees on 18, it was time to wait for a potential playoff with a posted score of one under par 71.
Three hours later, it was playoff time. 8 players for 6 spots. I made par on the playoff hole, which was good enough to advance to the U.S. Amateur final qualifying in July. USGA qualifiers sure deliver on all of the emotions in golf!
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Straightdriver235
Jun 29, 2014 at 8:29 am
I pretty much play alone, and dread being paired with a stranger… I usually would prefer not to play in those instances. Other golfers tend to be quite a bother, usually skill and speed issues, but then there is politics, religion and philosophy. Sadly the game is dominated by rich old men with physical and skill issues and with odd and extremist political views. Kids are fun to play with, and an occasional accomplished senior player. Contrary to the cliche, the game tells you little of a person’s personality. If it did humanity would be in great trouble. I am only a mild misanthrope off the course, but on it, an almost total one. My advice, be a loner in golf.
Dave
Sep 20, 2013 at 11:02 pm
To the guy who has an issue with not reacting to a bad shot, that’s textbook sports psychology! Maintain your composure, no matter what happens. You never know if a seemingly bad shot might get a good break, a gap in the trees, a good kick, etc. My best rounds have come when I’ve accepted the bad while not riding to high on the good results. When I hit a bad shot that gets me going, I remember that A) I’m not practicing everyday to the point where professional consistency can be expected and B) Golf is just a game. Grind hard, give it your all, just remember why most of us play this game in the first place – Love of the game, ongoing challenge, recreation, socialization, etc. If you leave in a mood that’s worse than when you arrived, you’re not doing it correctly. I make it a point to feel fortunate just to be able to play in the first place. There are plenty of folks who can’t afford it, or have to worry about simply surviving every day of their lives, rather than enjoying a beautiful setting and the amazing game/lifelong challenge that golf represents.
Mike
Jun 19, 2013 at 10:00 am
WRX should pay Sergio a % of the revenues, what an obsession…
Coleman Slawski
Jun 9, 2013 at 12:51 pm
We are not good enough to expect perfection with every swing or putt, so our reactions should not reflect the expectation of perfect.
Many years ago, when golfing with my brother, I got overly upset after a bad drive on the fourth hole. My brother asked me what my handicap was. I told him it was 18. He said, “Okay, after 18 bad shots, then you can get upset.”
Monte Scheinblum
Jun 2, 2013 at 11:46 am
Awesome article.
ABgolfer2
May 27, 2013 at 12:52 pm
I play regularly with the turtle, cheating turtle (preferred lies and other subtle things), and no ettiquette guy which I guess leaves me. The whiner.
Jonathan
May 27, 2013 at 3:09 am
I am 70% Sergio, 30% Tiger.
Gus
May 26, 2013 at 12:02 pm
I played with a hothead once who would thump his clubs against tree trunks and breaks them (he owns a golf shop) and then justifies his behavior by saying his therapist told him its better to let it out than hold in his anger…
Maybe his therapist should have told him to stay away from activities that can easily irritate him – his golf game!
Square
May 26, 2013 at 11:44 am
I love the one MLH mentions. The Self Centered…..every time I see this guy Gary at my club it goes as follows.
Me: “Hi Gary, how are you?”
Gary: “I was three under after 9, but couldn’t make a putt on the backside.”
Me: “So how are things going with you and your family.”
Gary: “Fine, but if I had made a putt on the back side, I would have shot 66.”
Attention Gary! Let your scores speak for themselves and not everyone wants to know where you hit your drive on 14.
Arthur J
May 29, 2013 at 8:08 am
Brilliant. Similar guy at my club.
Him: “How did you play today”?
Me: “Really well, thanks, shot 70 and could have been lower but overall very happy”.
Him: (no acknowledgement of my answer to his question) “I drove it here on this hole, should have been -8 but actually shot 79 but I ripped it round and just couldn’t score”.
Me: “zzzzz”
Dave
Sep 20, 2013 at 10:50 pm
I used to know a guy who would, if uninterrupted, would recount EVERY shot in his round. This includes uber-specific yardages, wind direction, shot selection – all of it, down to makes or misses and how the putt broke on the green. He’s a very good player, just had no filter or awareness that most folks don’t really want to hear that kind of detail.
Here’s how it should go…
“How did you play?”
“I played well, shot XX, could’ve been better but that’s golf, eh? Missed a 10-footer on 18 for a personal best!”
The end.
Less is more! I don’t need a re-creation of your round including wind direction and turf conditions every time. Just trying to be courteous and ask how your day went…
DaphneWB
May 26, 2013 at 11:11 am
great stuff..thank you for this article 🙂
MLH
May 26, 2013 at 9:52 am
Good article. I would add:
The Cheater: The guy who misses three footers and calls them gimmes although no one gave him the stroke.
The Gambler: The guy who wants to bet on every hole, but when it comes time to pay out asks for a mulligan.
The Self-Centered: The guy who is loudly replaying his birdie putt, but is inconsiderate to the players on the next tee who are getting ready to hit.
We encounter them all in golf…love this game.
Square
May 25, 2013 at 11:16 am
I play to a +2, frequently break par. My best golfing buddy is a solid 16. He’s all over the place, but never complains, plays quickly, doesn’t look for balls for longer than 5 minutes, and likes every course. I give him a stroke a hole and we have some of the best matches. I’ve had friends with lower handicaps but I don’t enjoy playing with them as much as my buddy with the 16, mainly because he likes to have fun and plays quickly. I also get tired of other frineds who hit on the cart girl….”Dude she’s 15 years younger than you and just because she serves you a beer doesn’t mean she wants you to hit on her…”
Jim
May 25, 2013 at 10:46 am
Is it a bad thing if I am beginning to sound like all of them together? Yikes!!
Narf
May 24, 2013 at 11:31 pm
Want to be a Sergio? Blame your golf game on the quality of your playing partners…
Wildman
May 24, 2013 at 12:55 pm
I know two kinds of “Butch Harmons”. One tells me what I did wrong after an very bad shot on my part; like “you came over the top” or “your head moved toward the target”. The other tells me how to fix it; like “keep you elbow in” or “unwind your hips”. I don’t mind the first guy, he may see something I wasn’t aware of. But telling someone how to fix a swing fault should be saved for the range, and delivered by someone who knows what he’s talking about.
KCCO
May 24, 2013 at 11:02 pm
Had a guy walk up behind me and tell me to slow down my tempo, I turned around and punched him square in the jaw….mouth wired shut for season! Just a joke, chive on!
Wildman
May 24, 2013 at 12:44 pm
Excessive, constant hot heads can be a pain. But playing with zombies is no fun either. Some of the guys at our club are so stoic when they screw up a shot that I want to hold a mirror under their nose to see if they’re still breathing. If they don’t care at all, what are they doing here? I prefer playing with someone who has some expectations for the day and doesn’t mind showing a little disappointment (notice the word “little”) when he falls far short of them.
Kasey
May 24, 2013 at 11:23 am
Great article!
GMatt
May 24, 2013 at 10:42 am
Not a big Tiger fan but I agree with not wanting to play with him and other hotheads, although he might be fun to play with in a casual round.
yo!
May 24, 2013 at 6:34 am
there are more hot headed guys on tour than tiger, but tiger is the ultra-competitive guy, and those guys are a bore to play with … its like they don’t get enough competition at work so they have to get it on the golf course and they think they are losing, in their mind, tour $ if they lose strokes.
Steve
May 23, 2013 at 9:45 pm
Can you add this to Facebook so I can share it with my mates. Great read!
Hunterdog
May 23, 2013 at 9:24 pm
If I didn’t play with these guys I’d have to quit the game!
bootscrilla
May 23, 2013 at 8:52 pm
IMO the Butch Harmon is the worst! Reminds me of all the “range pros” that seem to know everything about the swing. After a bad shot, the LAST thing I want to be told is what someone thinks I did wrong. I’ve been taking lessons from 1 PGA Master Pro only for the past 3 years and he has done wonders for my game, but it’s still a work in progress. So whenever I get unwanted advice, I just say “Thanks for the input, it’s not needed. I take advice only from my instructor.” Great article!
Ron
May 23, 2013 at 7:16 pm
Great article….. I was picturing some of my playing partners as I read through the article…. Gotta respect the game
J.unc
May 23, 2013 at 7:02 pm
How bout some stories about the girls on the Hawaiian linx????
J.unc
May 23, 2013 at 6:58 pm
Looks like you have an admirer in Riccardo Coral…..Something we don’t know bout you/????Cutie….hehehe
Trevor
May 23, 2013 at 4:54 pm
I had to take a break from one of my playing partners because he is a Garcia! He is about a 20 HCP and because he played Glenn Abbey this spring he thinks every course should be like that! “Bah! these greens are too fast! This is horrible!” or “Bah!!! These greens are not in good condition!” I tried to tell him that if you’re any good you adjust to the conditions and it is only spring.
He actually walked off after 9 because he was so frustrated but he built himself up into the ball of frustration. I don’t like playing with him anymore 🙁
Jeff
May 23, 2013 at 4:31 pm
5. Keegan Bradley “The OCD D-Bag”
Jimmy
May 24, 2013 at 3:01 am
BOOM!!!! He makes me uncomfortable to watch…and I myself am OCD
mullie29
May 24, 2013 at 2:31 pm
And that is why I could not watch the final round of the Byron last weekend. AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
ADDER1up
May 25, 2013 at 5:00 pm
Keegan Bradley a. B – Bag more like it.
joe
May 23, 2013 at 4:27 pm
HAhahaha this is good. But there are plenty other hotter heads than tiger on tour though
Dane
May 23, 2013 at 4:20 pm
HA! Best write up ever!!!
Ricardo Coral
May 23, 2013 at 3:45 pm
Andy is one of the cutest writers on this website…. why can’t we get a pic??
Stryker
May 23, 2013 at 3:38 pm
^^ Mine too!
JBro
May 23, 2013 at 2:30 pm
All four of these are my dad. Can you send this directly to him?