Picture yourself at a crossroads, contemplating whether to enroll your child in a golf coaching program promising to unlock their potential and pave the path to collegiate golf success.

As you peruse the online mission statement, it becomes evident:

“Our coaching philosophy is dedicated to nurturing young talents for triumph in college golf. We employ cutting-edge scientific methods, including personality testing, to customize coaching for each individual. Emphasizing the importance of time management and a strong work ethic on the golf course and in the classroom, we recognize these principles as crucial not only in sports but in life. Golf serves as a platform for honing essential life skills such as discipline, perseverance, and fostering a growth mindset among our athletes. We appreciate the unique qualities of each golfer and strive to unleash their full potential through personalized coaching, viewing it as a partnership extending beyond technical skills. Our commitment is to holistic growth and well-being. If you aspire to elevate your child’s golf game, consider us as mentors.”

This mission statement brims with enticing buzzwords like deliberate practice, grit, science-backed methods, and a strong emphasis on academics. However, you may be pondering whether these buzzwords genuinely hold the key to success. Let’s explore what science and influential thinkers have to say on the topics of mentorship, the fixation on grades, the importance of practice and the objective of college golf.

Allow me to introduce you to the Somerville Youth Study, a research endeavor spanning decades since its inception in 1936. It aimed to answer a straightforward question: Does mentorship truly benefit children? The study divided children into two groups – one navigating life’s challenges independently and the other receiving academic guidance, medical support, and camaraderie from groups like the Boy Scouts. Surprisingly, those who ventured alone often thrived, challenging the prevailing belief in the transformative power of mentorship.

In “Barking up the Wrong Tree,” author Barker dismantles the notion that valedictorians are destined for unparalleled success. His analysis, rooted in research by Karen Arnold at Boston College, debunks this notion. While high school success correlates with college achievements, valedictorians rarely emerge as standout success stories in life. Instead, a survey of 700 millionaires reveals their average GPA was 2.9! Why? Because success transcends mere grades. Successful individuals possess the mental acumen to excel, but they are too engrossed in exploring, experimenting, and seizing various opportunities to be ensnared by the mundane details that often consume valedictorians.

Though we’ve been trained to believe that 10,000 hours of practice are critical for development, I must caution against this notion. Many coaches become entangled in the intricacies of technical aspects, perpetuating the illusion that mastering a solitary element can revolutionize a player’s game. The reality is that elite golfers possess a well-defined set of skills, and a coach’s role is to ensure junior players understand these skills and the fundamentals of executing shots – nothing more, nothing less.

The fact is college golf is not and should not be a destination. In fact, the evidence suggests that playing in college actually ruins most people’s relationship with golf making it a job, controlled by results rather than a genuine interest in developing skills, being with people, or just the pure joy of a nice walk in beautiful weather.

I hope that I have demonstrated that much of what we think our kids need from youth sports is not actually necessary. In fact, it is downright narcissistic. So what’s a parent to do? Encourage our kids to chase happiness. To explore golf on their own terms and learn when they need help and when they need time and space to just figure it out on their own.