Opinion & Analysis
Swanson: The 8 Worst “What’s In The Bag” Mistakes Golfers Can Make
Warning: Swanson, the author of this story, does not exist… except in his writing. His character is completely imagined, but that doesn’t mean his opinions aren’t real.
—
I can’t stand playing golf with other people. It’s not that I’m anti-social or anything, it’s just that 99 percent of you have no idea what you’re doing, and it reflects poorly on me.
For instance, one time I played golf with the president of Ecuador because he brought me in to consult on the bunkering of his new course at the base of the Andean foothills. Upon arriving, I stuck to my usual routine at a new golf course, and asked what the course record was. It was 66; I was already licking my chops.
So we’re on the 8th hole, and I stuck it to 3 feet with a nice uphill birdie putt to get to 4-under par (I would have tapped it in immediately but the ball had plugged in its own ball mark… high-ball hitter problems). The president was just off the green, and he hit a decent chip shot that was going too fast, but nailed the pin and dropped in the hole. Being the courteous playing partner I am, I grabbed his ball from the hole so he didn’t have to bend down… and so I could hurry up and tap in my birdie. As soon as I touched the ball, however, I knew we had a problem. I felt Surlyn and an odd dimple pattern. My worst fear was realized; he was playing with a budget golf ball.
I threw the golf ball back in his direction, but threw it as far as I could, and it ended up in a pond beside another green. Long story short, I’m no longer welcome in Ecuador because I “disrespected” the president, even though he was the one being disrespectful by not using a premium golf ball. One less course record to my name*, but hey, new courses get built everyday.
Point is, don’t play golf if you don’t know what you’re doing out there. And the first way to ensure you don’t get laughed off the golf course is to have a respectable equipment setup. Here’s what to avoid in your “What’s In The Bag” so as not to look like a fool.
*Editors Note: Swanson currently holds zero official course records to date.
Adjustable Driver
You know who adjustable drivers are for? People who don’t know what lead tape is. And do you know who lead tape is for? People who don’t know what hot melt is. Hot melt was invented for a reason; to make driver heads feel like butter, and to give golfers the ultimate control over swing weight and CG.
Insider tip: I put hot melt on the outside soles of my golf cleats to help my pressure trace throughout the swing.
Hybrids/Rescue Clubs
I briefly touched on this in my first article on GolfWRX, but nothing says “I have no control over my golf ball” like bagging a hybrid. Personally, I don’t play fairway woods either, but I recognize that hitting a 1-iron is more difficult than I make it look, so woods could be necessary for some.
And while I understand hybrids have a positive affect when it comes to growing the game — giving less-skilled players a chance to enjoy the sport — I have no idea why a serious golfer would admit he needs to be “rescued.” I mean, I didn’t see Michael Phelps wearing pool floaties on his arms during the Olympics, did you?
Cavity Back Irons
If you haven’t learned your lesson from Jordan Spieth by now, you may be a lost cause.
But check this out: The hardest golf course on the U.S. Open docket is Oakmont. Dustin Johnson won the U.S. Open at Oakmont. What type of irons was he using? You guessed it: blades.
Imagine if a barber used a cavity-back instead of a blade to shape up your fresh hair cut. Personally, I demand precision in my golf game, and in my shave.
Cast Wedges
I audibly gasp every time I look into a golfer’s bag and see a cast wedge.
Chipping and pitching requires feel, right? So why would anyone voluntarily choose a wedge that provides zero feel and even worse performance. Wasn’t the forging process invented so golfers could hit flop shots and low spinners with tremendous control and feedback? And feedback is infinitely more important than getting the shot up and down.
Stock Shafts
If I ask you what shaft you play in your driver and your answer is, “I’m not sure, whatever it came with,” then we don’t belong on the same golf course. If you don’t think what shaft you play matters, then you probably order tap water at restaurants instead of sparkling.
A Bag Tag from a Public Course
I saw a guy just the other week who touted bag tags from Whistling Straits and TPC Sawgrass. I thought to myself, this gentleman must be so embarrassed. So I asked him about it, and he was actually proud that he had played those courses, carrying around the bag tags like trophies.
Um, they’re public courses. That’s not something to be proud of.
I actually set the course record at Pubble Beach (Pebble + Public = Pubble) one time. We had an afternoon tee time at Cypress, so we figured we’d get in some warm-up holes at Pubble. The greens were terribly bumpy and the rough was spotty at best, but I managed to get around in 59. They wanted me to enter my card to the clubhouse and engrave my name on a plaque. No thanks; not at a public course am I advertising my name.
Double Straps
If you have a bag with double straps, I know you’re either:
- Not very good at golf since you don’t have a staff bag, or
- You’ve never heard of a caddie, in which case you’re probably not very good at golf.
Non-Milled Putter
Remember when scientists discovered that titanium drivers flew farther than persimmon, and people stopped using persimmon because they have brains? Same with milled putters. It’s a scientific fact that milled putters are more precise than other putters. So if you have a putter that’s not milled, I’ll play you for whatever money you want to put up.
To see what the pros do, visit GolfWRX’s WITB Page.
This past Monday, I played in the U.S. Amateur local qualifier at Rock Creek Country Club in Portland, Oregon. A full tee sheet from 7:30 a.m. to 1:55 p.m., the top 11 scores would make it to the U.S. Amateur final qualifying.
I teed off at 10:48 a.m.. With the 7:30 am tee time, you can get a feel for the leaders’ pace, and they were off and running on the challenging setup at Rock Creek.
View this post on Instagram
Getting to the highlight of the round on the par five 17th, a drive up the left side and 212 yards left to the front hole location. I took out a 5-iron with plans of middle of the green. The ball ended up 8 feet left of the hole, pin high. A slight downhill putt dropped in for an eagle 3 on the 17th. With the cut line looking to be anywhere from -2 to even par. This was the boost I had been waiting for all day.
With making par from the trees on 18, it was time to wait for a potential playoff with a posted score of one under par 71.
Three hours later, it was playoff time. 8 players for 6 spots. I made par on the playoff hole, which was good enough to advance to the U.S. Amateur final qualifying in July. USGA qualifiers sure deliver on all of the emotions in golf!
Club Junkie
Building my 2026 gamer WITB: Ranking the contenders and new putter projects – Club Junkie Podcast
The annual What’s In The Bag build is underway, and on this episode of Club Junkie, Brian breaks down the clubs currently leading the race for a spot in his 2026 gamer setup. From drivers and fairway woods to irons, wedges, and shafts, he ranks the equipment that’s performing best and explains what’s separating the front runners from the rest of the field.
Brian also heads into the workshop to discuss several putter projects currently on the bench. From head options and shaft choices to build ideas and testing plans, he shares what he’s working on and which putters could become serious contenders for the bag this season.
If you’re a gear junkie who loves equipment testing, club building, and the never-ending pursuit of the perfect setup, this episode is for you.
Follow Club Junkie:
Instagram: @clubjunkiepod
TikTok: @clubjunkiepod
Threads: @clubjunkiepod
X: @ClubJunkiePod
Club Junkie
Tour Edge Exotics mini driver review + TaylorMade Spider ZT Max first look – Club Junkie
On this episode of Club Junkie, I put the new Tour Edge Exotics Mini Driver to the test and break down the performance, forgiveness, distance, and where it fits compared to a traditional driver or strong fairway wood. If you have been curious about adding a mini driver to the bag, this one is worth a look.
I also dive into the new TaylorMade Spider ZT Max putter that was recently spotted and discuss the growing zero torque putter trend. Plus, there is a closer look at the new Project X Titan Yellow shaft showing up on the PGA Tour and what makes it different from other profiles currently out there.
Justin Rose WITB 2026 (April): Full WITB breakdown with new McLaren irons
What’s the story behind Webb Simpson’s custom-stamped irons?
Memorial Tournament Tour Report: Rory McIlroy, Cameron Young switch up drivers, and more
Cadillac Championship Tour Report: Spieth’s sizable changes, McLaren Golf launches, and more
Russell Henley’s winning WITB: 2026 Charles Schwab Challenge
Kristoffer Reitan’s winning WITB: 2026 Truist Championship
Best irons 2026: Best irons overall, most forgiving irons, and more
J.T. Poston’s winning WITB: 2026 Memorial Tournament
Aaron Rai’s winning WITB: 2026 PGA Championship
Cameron Young’s winning WITB: 2026 Cadillac Championship
Ryan Palmer WITB 2026 (June)
Driver: Callaway Quantum Triple Diamond (9 degrees) Shaft: Project X HZRDUS Smoke Blue RDX 60 TX 3-wood: TaylorMade Qi10 (15 degrees) Shaft:...
Bud Cauley WITB 2026 (June)
Bud Cauley had >14 clubs in his bag when photographed prior to the Memorial Tournament. Driver: Titleist GTS2 (8 degrees) Shaft: Fujikura...
Hannah Green WITB 2026 (June)
Driver: Titleist GTS3 (10 degrees, D4 SureFit setting) Shaft: Mitsubishi Chemical Diamana RB 53 S 3-wood: Titleist GT3 (15 degrees,...
Asterisk Talley WITB 2026 (June)
Driver: TaylorMade Qi4D (9 degrees) Shaft: Fujikura Ventus Blue 6 S 3-wood: TaylorMade Qi4D (16.5 degrees) Shaft: Fujikura Ventus Blue...
-
Equipment6 days agoMemorial Tournament Tour Report: Rory McIlroy, Cameron Young switch up drivers, and more
-
News2 weeks agoRussell Henley’s winning WITB: 2026 Charles Schwab Challenge
-
Equipment3 days agoBest irons 2026: Best irons overall, most forgiving irons, and more
-
Whats in the Bag4 days agoJ.T. Poston’s winning WITB: 2026 Memorial Tournament
-
Equipment1 week agoDetails on Jason Day’s latest prototype Avoda iron setup
-
Equipment3 weeks agoCJ Cup Byron Nelson Tour Report: Koepka and Kim’s newest putters finally get hot
-
News2 weeks agoCharles Schwab Challenge Tour Report: MacIntyre, Åberg and Spaun all switch putters, TaylorMade launches new Spider
-
Equipment2 weeks agoDetails on J.J. Spaun’s surprise putter switch
Ron
Oct 19, 2016 at 3:15 pm
This was funny. I’m not giving up my cavity backs, though. The sting that shivers up my arm when I hit my blades thin gave me tendinitis.
I still have the blades… Maybe someday I’ll be good enough to hit them again.
Keith B. Real
Sep 23, 2016 at 4:32 pm
These are funny!
Bee Bee Beehive
Sep 17, 2016 at 11:35 am
Dear GolfWRX writer,
You’re not a comedian. Don’t quit your day job.
Yours,
I wish I could have the last two minutes of my life back.
Mad-Mex
Sep 5, 2016 at 6:07 pm
Readers: The worst mistakes GolfWRX keeps making:
1) Attempt at humor
2) Unbiased club reviews
3) Attempt at humor
4) Unbiased club reviews
5) Attempt at humor
6) Honest club reviews
Mitchell-ish
Sep 2, 2016 at 10:52 am
Anyone who is saying that Swanson should not post are all the individuals who Swanson is making fun of in this article. They read all the posts of you jack-wagons waxing lyrical expertise on all things golf equipment when I would absolutely love to see your games, what equipment you buy, and what courses you play. HE is making fun of you. These articles are amazing because it identifies the egotistical hacks who think they actually know something when they aren’t even informed enough about the game of golf to understand satirical writing about the average golfer. This is the epitome of ironical! Swanson, whoever you are you masked avenger, keep exposing these trolls and self-congratulatory morons and making the rest of us laugh
Mad-Mex
Sep 5, 2016 at 6:07 pm
Uh,,, wipe your nose again, missed a spot.
Johan Klarin
Aug 30, 2016 at 3:14 pm
absolutely hilarious. keep it coming. thanks
Robert Darling
Aug 29, 2016 at 2:35 pm
I laughed a few times…..Thanks for this
Bobtrumpet
Aug 29, 2016 at 2:00 pm
“I can’t stand playing golf with other people. It’s not that I’m anti-social or anything, it’s just that 99 percent of you have no idea what you’re doing, and it reflects poorly on me.”
Not generally a Swanson fan, but I have to admit, that was damn funny!
Mike Honcho
Aug 29, 2016 at 1:41 pm
No double strap bang. Too fat and lazy to walk 9?
Justin
Aug 29, 2016 at 1:00 pm
Did you just create a new subcategory of writing? Egotistical satire?
To be honest, this being the first time I’ve read a Swanson article, I had no idea it was satire until about 1/3 of the way in. I thought someone actually existed that was this much of a jerk. Well, I’m sure a number of people exist who actually act like this, but I’m not sure how also don’t call themselves “politicians”
Mr. Wedge
Aug 29, 2016 at 12:50 pm
It’s funny how you get ridiculed for taking your game seriously these days (i.e. playing blades, using premium balls, optimizing your shaft (which IMO has way more of an impact to performance than blade vs. cavity)). Who cares? Some people get enjoyment out of this. They realize they’re not going pro.
Mike Honcho
Aug 29, 2016 at 12:35 pm
I actually thought I was going to have to handout this jack-hole a kudo for finally writing a good article. But then you get to the double strap, and BINGO, Swanson once again proves he’s an idiot: A) newsflash genius, plenty of double straps on PGA, LPGA, Euro tour staff bags. Next time I see a couple of tour caddies I know, I’ll tell them you think they are sissies. B) Easy to assume you’re a fat and/or lazy if you don’t have an old school Ping Hoofer in the garage that you use to walk a late Sunday 9. C) Thanks Judge Smails Jr. for letting us know that you only patron courses with caddies. Stay there, we don’t want you out with the common man.
Mr. Wedge
Aug 29, 2016 at 12:55 pm
Dude, you clearly missed point in that the entire article was satirical and meant the opposite. He IS representing himself as a common man and actually was poking fun at the golfers who HAVE single strap bags…
kolfpro
Aug 29, 2016 at 3:38 am
Love it!
Sometimes a Smizzle
Aug 28, 2016 at 11:15 am
So many shanks. What is the matter with you people?
Lou Loomis
Aug 28, 2016 at 6:48 pm
I understand why some people wouldn’t find these articles humorous. What I don’t understand is why they would still click on the link.
Dave Dudus
Aug 28, 2016 at 10:09 am
Sly humour in this article. I’d love forged wedges, but the Miura wedges are out of reach, which leaves the Mizuno, which I might try. Any other forged wedges out there?
Anthony
Aug 28, 2016 at 4:32 pm
Mizuno are the best production irons on the market, period. Yes, Miura are one of a kind, and aspirational. Check out the new JPX-900 line from Mizuno on September 4th.
Usman
Aug 29, 2016 at 12:07 pm
Ben Hogans!
Chris
Aug 29, 2016 at 12:45 pm
Fourteen.
Jeff
Aug 28, 2016 at 4:57 am
I like the editors note. As a fan of these articles, I’d like to note the hilarious potential of future editors notes debunking Swanson claims. Thanks
DeadFish
Aug 29, 2016 at 12:21 pm
Like #3? Find me a name brand wedge that isn’t cast… Love those Cleveland wedges? oh they’re cast….How about those Vokey wedges? Cast as well…Callaway wedges? Cast too! WTF, must be a miss print. Is it a miss print….Silence….
Johnnylongballz
Aug 28, 2016 at 2:10 am
These are my favorite articles on WRX. ……Pubble Beach. LOL
Highball hitter
Aug 28, 2016 at 12:58 am
Love that someone out there has the same problems.
Dude
Aug 28, 2016 at 12:06 am
Why is this article funny. All the things he said are true.
Bro
Aug 28, 2016 at 1:29 pm
I know right?
KK
Aug 27, 2016 at 11:16 pm
Any golfer who uses a mallet putter isn’t a real golfer and should be banned for life. Fact. BTW, ditto for anyone who’s ever golfed in jeans, regardless of course clothing policy. Actually, that odious bunch should be banned from this country.
Johnny Muscletown
Aug 27, 2016 at 8:55 pm
Is this pepperturbo?
Benny
Aug 27, 2016 at 6:50 pm
I thought this was hilarious. Well done Golfwrx, love it!
JR
Aug 27, 2016 at 6:08 pm
Swanson sounds like a first class hack to me!!
Timbleking
Aug 27, 2016 at 2:56 pm
Totally agree with you, Swanson.
I see so many people playing with a bag that barelly cost them around 5’000 bucks, while you can easily buy a set of Honma blades for twice that price? This is nonsense.
If you want to play decent golf, give yourself a chance to do it!
Deacon Blues
Aug 27, 2016 at 2:35 pm
Swanson needs to die a quick, but painful death.
Hen Man
Aug 27, 2016 at 2:07 pm
You need to post more on Twitter again!
BIG STU
Aug 27, 2016 at 1:15 pm
Too Funny! But I do like lead tape better than hot melt easier to apply at the range and take off if you screwed up and put on too much
ooffa
Aug 27, 2016 at 1:13 pm
I guess this is an attempt at humor. A failure, but an attempt. Swing and a miss!
ultimate hacker
Aug 27, 2016 at 2:05 pm
agreed… not humorous
Chris
Aug 29, 2016 at 12:47 pm
You’re the ultimate hacker, of course you wouldn’t find an article describing you hilarious.
Byron L
Aug 29, 2016 at 4:30 pm
swing and a miss, Alberstat style
Raj LP
Aug 27, 2016 at 1:07 pm
You forgot that the most important wedge is the 60 or 64. Inside 60 yds = Flop shots.
TyB
Aug 27, 2016 at 12:53 pm
48 shank votes?
Seems these articles fly over people’s heads higher than one of Swanson’s spectacular high balls.
ByT
Aug 27, 2016 at 6:32 pm
Yeah. Because it is an inredibly sophisticated brand of humour that mere mortals don’t understand.
Or, more likely it is just unfunny rubbish.
Lester Diamond
Aug 27, 2016 at 11:29 am
“And feedback is infinitely more important than getting the shot up and down.”
Absolutely spot-on. Even my hosel rockets are buttery smooth.
Hack Life
Aug 27, 2016 at 10:53 am
Please stop.
B. Parsons
Aug 29, 2016 at 12:55 pm
^Agreed.
End this fake author. Just end it please.