Opinion & Analysis
Players to avoid, with help from “Dude Perfect”
There’s nothing I love more than golf (apologies to my family), but sometimes it pushes me to my limit of tolerance. I take comfort in knowing that 100 percent of my fellow golfers go through the same frustrations that I do. I try to keep a cool head most of the time, but other times I wonder about the safety of my clubs.
It’s soothing to make fun of ourselves and recognize how ridiculous this game makes us all look. The “Players to Avoid” series that I started was designed to ease the tension in such a serious game, and allow us to laugh instead of snap driver shafts.
This installment of “Players to Avoid” comes with help from Dude Perfect, a group of guys that have made viral YouTube videos their profession. They hold the record for longest basketball shot made, have shot basketballs out of airplanes, thrown footballs from the tops of stadiums with Johnny Manziel, kicked footballs with NFL players, raced go-karts and shot NERF guns. Their speciality is specializing in anything involving accuracy and coordination.
The group’s newest video, “Stereotypes: Golf,” makes fun of all types of golfing personalities, with both accuracy and hilarity. I’m going to highlight some of the guys to avoid from their stereotypes, and others to keep around. Regardless, you should watch the video because you surely have encountered all of these guys at some point in your golfing career.
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Players to Avoid
The Lie Improver/Magically Finds his Golf Ball Guy (The Judge Smails)
No one likes a tattle-tale Danny, except of course me. The lie improver is someone you don’t want to play with or against. Avoiding confrontation is the easy way to go, but it’s awkward hearing them talk about the great recovery shot afterward when you know the ball came straight out of his or her pocket. I’d say something, but it could lead to a golfer fight!
The Tee Box Talker (Tiger’s Kyrptonite)
This is definitely Tiger’s least favorite golfer. No one reacts more outwardly in disgust to spectators talking or taking pictures in his backswing. We normal golfers, who don’t have droves of fans battling to get a glimpse at our flailing golf swings, deal with other forms of distractions. People like the conference caller, the untimely conversation guy, the texter, and the social media specialist are the main culprits. The golf course is no place to come up with clever hashtags or shoot some emails. Conversation is fine in between shots, but it’s tough to fire at pins with your buddy talking about how many fantasy football points his tailback tallied last week.
The Tailgater, Shadow Guy, Mr. Big Foot (The John Bender/Judd Nelson)
This guy is quite a rebel. He knows the rules, he understands etiquette, but he’s not concerned in the slightest with obliging to either. He’ll move his shadow for you, but not without first making a comment about how enforcing etiquette guidelines reflects poorly on your masculinity. He’s usually the same guy who spends most of his time leaning over the cart girl hoping to score more than just a par. If there’s one thing I know for certain, the cart girls at country clubs don’t go for the guy with the untucked, mismatched polo shirt ordering his seventh and eighth beer of the round.
The Untrustworthy Scorekeeper (The Vijay Singh)
It’s just something about pointing when counting their strokes that makes me think they’re lying. They think no one can notice they’re counting slower than they’re pointing. It’s like the quote from “Ocean’s Eleven,” where Brad Pitt tells Matt Damon: “Don’t look down or they’ll know your lying.” Well, in golf, don’t point when you’re counting shots or we know you’re shaving strokes.
Players to keep around:
The Old Guy (The Miguel Angel Jiminez)
He bunts it around, tells ridiculously interesting stories and kicks your butt. In between shots, he talks about the time he met the Rat Pack in their heyday, stories of World War I and how the Internet is the downfall of society, and you won’t even notice you’re 3 down through 7. I have one rule of thumb: never trust an old guy with up-to-date technology in his set of clubs, but has an old Bullseye or Ping Anser putter. There’s a reason he hasn’t changed putters in 30 years. Do everything you can to get this guy on your team.
The That’s Playable Guy (The Bill Haas)
He’s the most trustworthy person on the course. You won’t have to worry about him improving a lie or the “Hey, look I found it” after taking a pocket drop. The guy rolling up his pants legs and splashing himself with muddy water doesn’t believe in that. It’s entertaining if not anything else. Some of the greatest shots are the ones where most players would take a drop. Just ask Bill Haas.
Mr. Mood Swing (The Spike Lee?)
This guy produces some of my favorite matches. It’s heated competition, like Reggie Miller having Spike Lee on the sidelines for the Knicks v. Pacers in the Eastern Conference Finals at Madison Square Garden. He’s gonna rub the great shots in your face with passionate fist pumps, but slam his club even harder with the shanks. The previous shot determines whether he is the best or worst golfer of all time, and he’s always on the verge of either looking for sponsorship money for Q-school or finding out whether their clubs can float. The mood swing guy isn’t a fan of friendly competition. It’s an intense battle, and there’s nothing more fun than winning the $5 nassau against Mr. Mood Swing.
On a final note, there’s…
The Borrower
My guess is that this title fits about 95 percent of all GolfWRX readers. Whenever I see someone sifting through another player’s golf bag, I automatically assume they’re a loyal GolfWRX reader. I sympathize with all of you — it’s tough to see a TaylorMade SLDR or new MP-54 irons without kicking some tires.
Opinion & Analysis
AVL: My U.S. Amateur local qualifying experience
This past Monday, I played in the U.S. Amateur local qualifier at Rock Creek Country Club in Portland, Oregon. A full tee sheet from 7:30 a.m. to 1:55 p.m., the top 11 scores would make it to the U.S. Amateur final qualifying.
I teed off at 10:48 a.m.. With the 7:30 am tee time, you can get a feel for the leaders’ pace, and they were off and running on the challenging setup at Rock Creek.
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Getting to the highlight of the round on the par five 17th, a drive up the left side and 212 yards left to the front hole location. I took out a 5-iron with plans of middle of the green. The ball ended up 8 feet left of the hole, pin high. A slight downhill putt dropped in for an eagle 3 on the 17th. With the cut line looking to be anywhere from -2 to even par. This was the boost I had been waiting for all day.
With making par from the trees on 18, it was time to wait for a potential playoff with a posted score of one under par 71.
Three hours later, it was playoff time. 8 players for 6 spots. I made par on the playoff hole, which was good enough to advance to the U.S. Amateur final qualifying in July. USGA qualifiers sure deliver on all of the emotions in golf!
Club Junkie
Building my 2026 gamer WITB: Ranking the contenders and new putter projects – Club Junkie Podcast
The annual What’s In The Bag build is underway, and on this episode of Club Junkie, Brian breaks down the clubs currently leading the race for a spot in his 2026 gamer setup. From drivers and fairway woods to irons, wedges, and shafts, he ranks the equipment that’s performing best and explains what’s separating the front runners from the rest of the field.
Brian also heads into the workshop to discuss several putter projects currently on the bench. From head options and shaft choices to build ideas and testing plans, he shares what he’s working on and which putters could become serious contenders for the bag this season.
If you’re a gear junkie who loves equipment testing, club building, and the never-ending pursuit of the perfect setup, this episode is for you.
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Club Junkie
Tour Edge Exotics mini driver review + TaylorMade Spider ZT Max first look – Club Junkie
On this episode of Club Junkie, I put the new Tour Edge Exotics Mini Driver to the test and break down the performance, forgiveness, distance, and where it fits compared to a traditional driver or strong fairway wood. If you have been curious about adding a mini driver to the bag, this one is worth a look.
I also dive into the new TaylorMade Spider ZT Max putter that was recently spotted and discuss the growing zero torque putter trend. Plus, there is a closer look at the new Project X Titan Yellow shaft showing up on the PGA Tour and what makes it different from other profiles currently out there.
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Jack
Sep 20, 2013 at 10:12 pm
Did you miss the guy who never plays a provisional and always thinks he ball can be found? I played with a guy who would spend 5 minutes each hole looking for his ball, then end up rushing his shot after the drop. Sometimes it happens twice a hole.
TheLegend
Sep 19, 2013 at 11:27 pm
The worst guy to play with is the one who says you have cheated when you have not. Then he turns around and tells everyone that you cheated.
Mark Burke
Sep 19, 2013 at 5:11 pm
Or the homeless golfer. The one who has dreams of playing on the champions tour but can’t play a lick. He is the same guy who lives in concrete tubes in Palm Springs and hits rocks with sticks to keep his game up all why trying to clear his name. He is a 58 year old delusional child. That golfer is me.
paul
Sep 19, 2013 at 8:27 am
Im the guy with a stop watch, i make sure i play fast to make up for the slow pace of my friends. Problem is, it makes me rush and i make up for it by looking for balls that i fired in the bush.
naflack
Sep 19, 2013 at 1:13 am
tee box talker here…?
noise doesnt bother me on the tee so i tend to forget it bothers others.
mwmilk123
Sep 19, 2013 at 5:30 am
old guy here……18 year old Scotty Cameron in the bag. you forgot the “time keeper”. he’s the guy who complains about the pace of play in a 4 hour round. constant updates on how long we have been on the course. he never pulls the pin or replaces it, just walks off the green after giving himself a 3 footer. sometimes he will even tee off on th next hole while the group is putting out. he will address his ball when your away causing you to pause to see if hes going to hit. he doesnt understand his impatience is not helping the pace of play.