Opinion & Analysis

Golfers: Go easy on yourselves!

Published

7 years ago

Aug 16, 2019

Heres a fact for you: nearly half of all golfers will never break 100, according to the National Golf Foundation. Less than that will ever break 90, and only five percent will ever break 80. Golf is not an easy game, so you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Period.

I’m not here to go all Zen golf on you; I can only speak from personal experience, but the moment you accept that, regardless of your ability to score, you can have a lot of fun, the more you will truly enjoy the game of golf.

When I first learned to play, like many, I was not very good. Everyone I played with was way better than me, and although I don’t remember a lot of those early rounds, I can remember moments of feeling embarrassed for my play. It wasn’t because of the people I was playing with, they were all very helpful and patient, but for some reason, I knew that I was not helping the group. It is those memories that allow me to make sure no matter who I play with now, I make them feel welcome on the course and help them any chance I can.

We all started somewhere, and regardless of how many rounds we have played or how low our handicaps have gotten, we need to be accepting that anyone that takes the time to try and play golf should be afforded the opportunity to learn and enjoy the game.

Even with my current level of play, the insecurities of being a newbie creep in from time to time, I never want to feel like I am the reason my group is being slow—although I must admit that with my normal pace of play that’s not usually an issue. I played a round very earlier in the year during a trip to Florida where I was paired with what I would call very regular golfers, players who generally break 100, but struggle with aspects of their game. Even then, just like when I was 10 years old, I was having a hard time out of a bunker one the second hole and after blading one into the pond on my second attempt (give me a break, it was my first round in four months), I just walked to the green, tended the flag, and told them I’d take my ESC (equitable stroke control) number for the hole. Thas describes my golf game, and I’m OK with that.

Too many golfers get caught up in how the pros play—from the tips, bombing drivers, expecting to make six birdies a round. Players on the PGA Tour are like the aliens from Space Jam (I just seriously dated myself) the Monstars. They have every skill imaginable, and get to do this for a living—you better believe they are going to be good at it. There is NO reason as a 10-15 handicap you should be slamming clubs and stomping your feet for missing a green from 150 yards. It’s just part of the game. Heck, even Rory McIlroy misses greens from time to time. Do you ever hit it like Rory?

Expectations are part of the human ego, and if we don’t manage them properly, we will always feel like we are inadequate. In reality, we should approach every challenge (even something as simple as golf) with the idea that today I have the opportunity to be great, but there is also the equal chance I will fail. We learn from failure, we improve after failure, and it’s not something we should be scared of.

No matter your score, make it fun, enjoy the day, embrace the challenge. Your expectations can make or break what to take from every round of golf you play, and if you think for a second this is the worst golf ever played—trust me it’s not. It’s just one round of many bad rounds played every day, and the next round is your next challenge. Honestly, you’re not as bad as you think you are.

Go easy on yourself. Golf is a lot more enjoyable that way.

Related Topics:featured

Up Next

Slow play is all about the numbers

Don't Miss

The Wedge Guy: Some things that make me go “hmm…”

Ryan Barath

Ryan Barath is a club-fitter & master club builder with more than 17 years of experience working with golfers of all skill levels, including PGA Tour players. He is the former Build Shop Manager & Social Media Coordinator for Modern Golf. He now works independently from his home shop and is a member of advisory panels to a select number of golf equipment manufacturers. You can find Ryan on Twitter and Instagram where he's always willing to chat golf, and share his passion for club building, course architecture and wedge grinding.

22 Comments

ChipNRun

Sep 3, 2019 at 11:23 pm

Reasons why people quit:
* Unrealistic expectations.
* Disappearance of “adult time” in USA society. With the prevalence of designer children, everyone wants to supervise their kids 365 a year so that the kids “reach their potential”. Sports travel teams, soccer season blending into little league baseball. Once these ambitious couples have their second child, it’s 20 years before they can play Sunday golf together again.

Reply Report comment
Ashton

Aug 21, 2019 at 9:55 am

“Do you ever hit it like rory?”

Yea…sometimes he putts like me

Reply Report comment
John Burns

Aug 18, 2019 at 11:15 pm

I have found that by playing to a “personal par” the game is less stressful and more enjoyable. Keep track of your average score for a few rounds and then try and beat your average by 1-2 shots (you have played well and were under “your par”}. Mark up the scorecard to change the par on holes so it works out to your personal par score. Maybe your par is 88, so you try and make a bogey or better on 16 holes and a par on two easy holes you pick.

It s a great way to measure improvement too. I see too many people shoot the round of their lives like a 77, or 87 or whatever and get mad when they can’t duplicate the best round of the season over and over again.

Reply Report comment
joro

Aug 18, 2019 at 9:31 am

Very true. The fact that we who once played great have a different game at 80. But as I always say, the memories are still there and we have to realize they are only memories. We are lucky to be able to play.

Reply Report comment
TTidey

Aug 17, 2019 at 7:36 pm

Well said Ryan!! I was just pouting over a bad round, one week before my club championship. Isin’t there an automatic invite to Augusta if you win your CC? 🙂

Reply Report comment
David Harris

Aug 17, 2019 at 5:55 pm

Why don’t we make the hole bigger-from 4 inches to 8 inches-for amateurs

Reply Report comment
Ed in NM

Aug 17, 2019 at 5:14 pm

Your stats put things in perspective including that only 5% of golfers will ever break 80. I wonder if the false expectations of many amateur golfers who think they should be playing like the pros is a big reason why some people quit the game in frustration.

Reply Report comment
Dennis Rubery

Aug 17, 2019 at 3:05 pm

Over the years i have lost alot of good guys who have passed away and golf was there life.
Now i apreciate im here to play the game im grateful …

Reply Report comment
Bogeyman

Aug 17, 2019 at 12:49 pm

Totally agree. I tell new golfers that no one cares how well you play – only how quickly you play. Be ready to play your shot and be still and quiet when others are shooting and you will never lack for playing partners.

Reply Report comment
- Dennis Rubery
  
  Aug 17, 2019 at 3:04 pm
  
  Over the years i have lost alot of good guys who have passed away and golf was there life.
  Now i apreciate im here to play the game im grateful …
  
  Reply Report comment
- Bill
  
  Sep 3, 2019 at 1:49 pm
  
  great point, Bogieman.
  I’ve played with people that throw clubs, cuss and scream at their shots and basically make it uncomfortable for everyone they play with (usually only play with them once, if possible). Being able to laugh at your mistakes and keep them in perspective is the only way you can enjoy this game long term.
  It’s a hard game. The hardest, actually. You never master it, you only have varying degrees of success. Because of this, it’s also the best character builder of all the sports.
  The ego is a funny thing, but this is true for all. We ALL have a talent ceiling. Accepting that helps you keep the bad rounds and shots in perspective as well as the great shots and rounds. That’s when you fall in love with the game. We can raise that ceiling a bit with lessons and practice, but everyone has a ceiling. Be grateful for the days you get a glimpse above your normal ceiling and have a beer or family to enjoy when you shoot average or less.
  
  Reply Report comment
Kelly fitzgerald

Aug 17, 2019 at 11:51 am

Totally agree. I am trying not to be too hard on myself. Used to average a 79 or 80 now at 59 I average around 85. Just need to realize I can’t play like I used to. Golf should be fun not stressful. I’m trying real hard!

Reply Report comment
Acemandrake

Aug 17, 2019 at 10:56 am

Play once in a while without keeping score. It will reduce the anxiety of playing with expectations.

You’ll want to do it more often.

Reply Report comment
Tom Duckworth

Aug 17, 2019 at 10:29 am

When I watch golf on TV its interesting to me to see how the top twenty change from week to week. It just highlights to me how up and down their game can be.

Reply Report comment
bosshog919

Aug 16, 2019 at 1:06 pm

Usually playing with better players often motivates some to put in the work and get better as well. At least that’s how it worked out for me. Most ONLY see the results of a lot of practice and time on the course and think it will just come….well that’s DEFINITELY not the case for most. Although, if/when I am on the course my expectations are always to play well, but I have to keep in mind that if I’m only playing twice a month, those expectations have to be adjusted and just enjoy the time out on the course.

Reply Report comment
Distance Compression Dude

Aug 16, 2019 at 12:30 pm

If more golfers invested on some lessons and applied what they learned, they might just break 100 (maybe even 90 and 80).

The problem is that a lot of “golfers” think that they can just pick up a set of clubs and expect to play well. That’s not how it works.

If you’re a hack, then keep hacking away. However, if you wish to play better, see your local PGA Pro and practice.

Reply Report comment
trwaggo

Aug 16, 2019 at 11:52 am

Watching PGA Tour Live has made me a much more patient and happy golfer. When you just watch on the weekends you’re seeing the best players in the world with the their A games – because they’re leading.

Watching a guy on Thursday shoot 75 is pretty informative. The number of times I’ve watched pros miss the green from inside 125 yards is too high for me to count, the number of 3 putts and duffed chips and balls left in the bunker…pros are aliens but even they have bad days and/or bad stretches and they certainly hit bad shots.

Im still hard on myself – but it’s in a much more positive way than it used to be.

Reply Report comment
- Bill
  
  Aug 17, 2019 at 9:44 am
  
  This guy gets it. I don’t have PGA live now, but at one point I did. Only watching the leaders on the weekend creates a false reality. Those golfers leading are playing at their very best on the weekend, which is hardly their reality 100% of the time. It’s important to be able to see those 75 score rounds and all of the frankly bad shots out on tour. Most recently I recall Henrik Stenson’s glorious shank. That was good to see and certainly softened up my expectations.
  
  Reply Report comment
  - GotThaRight
    
    Aug 17, 2019 at 3:24 pm
    
    I noticed that too when watching The Masters on their website. They had it where you could see almost every shot. And yes those guys are really good though even they arent the robots that are shown come sat and sun afternoon. What CBS and NBC show us during that coverage is the best of the best at their very best.
    
    Reply Report comment
    - 3rd times a charm
      
      Aug 17, 2019 at 3:28 pm
      
      I think what seperates the pros from very good/elite amateurs is that pros quickly get over a bad shot and only focus on what they can do next. Not what has already happened.
      
      Reply Report comment
chris pottle

Aug 16, 2019 at 11:31 am

Everyone was much better than I or I was – not me

Reply Report comment
- Tom
  
  Aug 19, 2019 at 8:34 am
  
  Love it when someone tries to play grammar police and it turns out they’re wrong.
  
  “Everyone was much better than me” is grammatically correct. Easy way to test? Substitute in the third person:
  
  “Everyone was much better than him”, not “Everyone was much better than he”.
  “Everyone was much better than Chris”.
  “Everyone was much better than you”.
  
  Reply Report comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Opinion & Analysis

AVL: My U.S. Amateur local qualifying experience

Published

6 days ago

Jun 5, 2026

Andrew Von Lossow

This past Monday, I played in the U.S. Amateur local qualifier at Rock Creek Country Club in Portland, Oregon. A full tee sheet from 7:30 a.m. to 1:55 p.m., the top 11 scores would make it to the U.S. Amateur final qualifying.

I teed off at 10:48 a.m.. With the 7:30 am tee time, you can get a feel for the leaders’ pace, and they were off and running on the challenging setup at Rock Creek.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by GolfWRX (@golfwrx)

Getting to the highlight of the round on the par five 17th, a drive up the left side and 212 yards left to the front hole location. I took out a 5-iron with plans of middle of the green. The ball ended up 8 feet left of the hole, pin high. A slight downhill putt dropped in for an eagle 3 on the 17th. With the cut line looking to be anywhere from -2 to even par. This was the boost I had been waiting for all day.

With making par from the trees on 18, it was time to wait for a potential playoff with a posted score of one under par 71.

Three hours later, it was playoff time. 8 players for 6 spots. I made par on the playoff hole, which was good enough to advance to the U.S. Amateur final qualifying in July. USGA qualifiers sure deliver on all of the emotions in golf!

Club Junkie

Building my 2026 gamer WITB: Ranking the contenders and new putter projects – Club Junkie Podcast

Published

1 week ago

Jun 4, 2026

GolfWRX Staff

The annual What’s In The Bag build is underway, and on this episode of Club Junkie, Brian breaks down the clubs currently leading the race for a spot in his 2026 gamer setup. From drivers and fairway woods to irons, wedges, and shafts, he ranks the equipment that’s performing best and explains what’s separating the front runners from the rest of the field.

Brian also heads into the workshop to discuss several putter projects currently on the bench. From head options and shaft choices to build ideas and testing plans, he shares what he’s working on and which putters could become serious contenders for the bag this season.

If you’re a gear junkie who loves equipment testing, club building, and the never-ending pursuit of the perfect setup, this episode is for you.

Follow Club Junkie:
Instagram: @clubjunkiepod
TikTok: @clubjunkiepod
Threads: @clubjunkiepod
X: @ClubJunkiePod

Club Junkie

Tour Edge Exotics mini driver review + TaylorMade Spider ZT Max first look – Club Junkie

Published

2 weeks ago

May 28, 2026

Brian Knudson

On this episode of Club Junkie, I put the new Tour Edge Exotics Mini Driver to the test and break down the performance, forgiveness, distance, and where it fits compared to a traditional driver or strong fairway wood. If you have been curious about adding a mini driver to the bag, this one is worth a look.

I also dive into the new TaylorMade Spider ZT Max putter that was recently spotted and discuss the growing zero torque putter trend. Plus, there is a closer look at the new Project X Titan Yellow shaft showing up on the PGA Tour and what makes it different from other profiles currently out there.