Opinion & Analysis

The Moment That Separates Golfers

Published

10 years ago

Apr 24, 2016

The tendency of almost every golfer is to worry about getting things right. We obsess over our swings and whether or not our technique is correct. We want the ball to go exactly where we are aimed, and anything less than success usually results in disappointment. The hardest thing to come to terms with about this game is that we are going to have more mistakes than successes.

Because we are so preoccupied with getting things right, we ultimately don’t develop a much more important skill, which is how to deal with our failures. You might not think it’s true, but being able to handle your mistakes on the course is actually just as important as fixing your swing if you really want to improve. I like to think of it as the moment that separates golfers.

The One Tip I Never Forgot

When I was a teenager and really starting to take golf seriously, I had the privilege of learning under a great Australian teacher named Alex for a few weeks. He was an aspiring professional player, and in his spare time he would teach juniors how to play the game for extra money. Aside from all of the technical information that he gave me to improve my swing, there was one conversation we had during a round that I’ll never forget.

I was having an absolutely dreadful day, and had mentally packed it in. He pulled me aside on the back nine, looked me in the eye and told me, “Jon, your round is never over. Every single shot is an opportunity to turn things around. You never know when it’s going to come.”

In all of the tips I’ve received over the years, I always look back at this one as the most important. Almost 20 years later I know exactly what he is talking about. Every round of golf is going to be filled with bad shots. How you react to each one mostly determines how the rest of your day is going to go.

Resolve and Staying Present

The two greatest tools a golfer can have are resolve and the ability to stay present. That’s exactly what Alex was talking about when he pulled me aside that day. No matter how great your swing is, or how well your round is going, you are going to be facing adversity on the golf course. These are the moments that separate the good players from the average ones.

All of the best golfers I have ever been around have a remarkable ability to not let their mistakes rattle them. They keep their focus on the shot at hand, and never give up hope that a good stretch of holes is about to begin.

One of the major breakthroughs I had in my game was beginning to take control of my emotions. I’m only human, so I do continue to struggle with getting down on myself after a bad tee shot or a missed par put. However, there is no question the rounds where I shoot my best scores are the ones where I can conquer these negative thoughts.

How Do You Conquer the Moment?

When I refer to “the moment,” I am talking about when your tee shot finds the trees after you just made a few pars in a row. It’s when out of nowhere you chunk a 7-iron in the fairway. I could go on, but you get the point.

Every single golfer at every level has these moments, and they are all relative to our own games. A missed green to a scratch golfer can be just as mentally damaging as the topped drive to a 30-handicap.

If I had a foolproof solution for how to control your emotions when these things happen, then I wouldn’t be writing this article right now. I’d be sipping a cold beer on my 100-foot yacht or playing a round at Augusta, because I would have solved the most important problem in all of golf, and people would be throwing money at me to find out my secret.

The reason why it’s impossible to solve this issue is because we are human. It’s in our nature to let our expectations get the best of us, and lose our composure when something happens that we don’t think should. That being said, the first step to improving your ability to stay in the moment during a round is to give up this notion that all of your shots are supposed to turn out well.

Embrace that horrible tee shot; it was supposed to happen.

That’s not to say you should be happy about it, but you have to accept that it occurred, and do your best to not let it affect your next shot (file that in the easier-said-than-done drawer).

A Little Perspective

Here’s the good news. You can break 100, 90, or even 80 while making a ton of mistakes. I had a round last year where I did not advance the ball more than 50 yards on three of my tee shots. It was terribly embarrassing, but I was able to laugh each one off and go on with my day. I ended up shooting a 75 after making birdie on three of the last four holes. It easily could been a round where I packed it in after a third horrific tee shot, but on that day I was able to conquer those moments.

The key is to not let your initial mistakes lead to other ones. Again, this is insanely difficult, and even the best golfers of all time have routinely failed at this.

If you can get incrementally better at conquering these moments on the course, you will see strokes coming off your scores. I’ve watched players with the most beautiful swings you’ve ever seen never reach their potential because they couldn’t control their emotions. I’ve also seen golfers with what many would consider bizarre swings shoot amazing scores because they never let their bad shots get to them.

Expectations are everything in golf. If you can start to be more realistic with what you expect of yourself on each shot, then it will help you deal with the inevitable failures that occur in every single round. In other words, don’t be so hard on yourself, and focus on the shot at hand.

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Jon Sherman

Jon is the author of the bestselling book, "101 Mistakes All Golfers Make (and how to fix them)". He is the owner of Practical Golf, a site dedicated to being an honest resource for golfers of all levels looking to improve their games. His advice is written through a player’s perspective, and he is passionate about coaching golfers in their quest to lower their scores and enjoy the game more. Overall, Jon believes golf is a difficult game, but it doesn’t have to be a complicated one. You can find him on Twitter @practicalgolf, where he is happy to chat about golf with anyone.

15 Comments

NLB

Apr 26, 2016 at 7:00 pm

Yeah that’s what they all say, this is the anonymous web, dontcha know

Reply Report comment
not smizzle

Apr 26, 2016 at 12:48 am

At this moment, there are only 2 shanks for this article, which is GolfWRX record. I came here to say “well done”!

Reply Report comment
- Jon Sherman
  
  Apr 26, 2016 at 8:08 am
  
  Haha thanks! You spoke to soon though, a third shank has appeared 😉
  
  Reply Report comment
Double Mocha Man

Apr 25, 2016 at 8:31 pm

As a college golfer I was not the longest, not the most accurate, not the best putter of the ball. But I had a 34 – 5 record in individual matches. I let myself give up, I quit on myself, I threw in the towel, I stopped caring… AFTER the ball fell into the cup on the 18th hole. That was my approach and it worked. I simply outlasted my opponents and I’m sure that frustrated them.

Reply Report comment
tony

Apr 25, 2016 at 10:35 am

so is your recipe for on-course success to expect a perfect round with no adversity? if that’s the mindset that breeds success how do you recommend golfers react when they do face adversity on the course?

and by the way participation trophies have been around forever bud. Just about every sport for decades provided season end trophies. Everyone acts like this is some new phenomenon millennials invented but it aint. I’ve seen dozens of trophies from basketball, football, and baseball my 65 year old father accrued growing up that weren’t exclusively for region, county, and or state championships.

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Pops

Apr 25, 2016 at 2:43 am

None of that stuff matters.
In the amateur world, in the public golf course world, the most important thing, and the first thing that I learned, in respect to all golfers, the course, the marshals, and the greenskeepers, and the game, is……….
“Leave the course in as good as shape as you found it. Fix all divots, rake bunkers, repair as many ballmarks, and pick up any trash you come across left behind by others. Because you know who’s coming behind you? Other players. And if everybody does the same, the course will be as good as it can be.”
I didn’t even hit a ball before I was told that, by the first people who told me what the game was about, when I was 4. I guess I had really decent people around me then.
It’s a shame what the game has degenerated into.

Reply Report comment
- Mat
  
  Apr 25, 2016 at 7:19 am
  
  “Back in my day, we played golf with white balls in the snow, and walked uphill on every hole. We all wore spats and appreciated the senior members who still played hickory.”
  
  GET OFF MY LAWN
  
  Reply Report comment
- Brad
  
  Apr 25, 2016 at 1:57 pm
  
  What does that even mean? LOL.
  
  Someone opened up the wrong flap on their weekly pill dispenser… It’s MONDAY Pops.
  
  Good Lord.
  
  Reply Report comment
- Cazzo
  
  Apr 26, 2016 at 1:46 am
  
  Pops has got it right and has separated himself you numbskulls
  
  Reply Report comment
- Duncan Castles
  
  Apr 26, 2016 at 12:37 pm
  
  The two most important rules of golf. 1) Don’t hit your ball until the group in front are out of range. 2) Repair the course as you play.
  Sadly, there are a number of people out there who consider these optional.
  
  Reply Report comment
larrybud

Apr 24, 2016 at 9:43 pm

Smiz, if you think every great player never had a bad day, then I honestly have to wonder if you actually play golf. The best golfers in the world lose most of the time. The best player in the last 40 years at his best was winning only 1/3 of the time.

I honestly don’t know how you arrived at your conclusion reading the same article I did. This isn’t about getting a participation trophy or saying it’s OK to be bad. It’s about staying mentally in the present when things aren’t going your way, so that you can pull out of the funk and start playing up to your potential.

How do you want players to react when they’re off for the day? Throw some clubs, take chunks out of the course, quit after 9?

Reply Report comment
Derek

Apr 24, 2016 at 8:48 pm

You got it right here and I have been trying to improve my focus and not get distracted by a bad shot or an unlucky bounce. I see now my next progression will be able to reset and think clearly so I don’t set myself up to make a second mistake.
Still think the biggest challenge is listening to other people you play with and their running commentary of what they just did wrong, how tough you lie is and all the other issues with the world.
It’s a lot easier to play with three positive individuals that look forward. I see the opportunity to support my playing partners play well by complimenting their good shots and just not commenting on anything other.

Reply Report comment
Other Paul

Apr 24, 2016 at 7:50 pm

I am not sure what i think of this article. In my last 9 hole round i shot 43. I was one over standing on the 7th tee. It was a 600 yard par 5. I made bogey. I was okay with that. Next tee i pretty much topped my wedge on a par 3. I finished with another bogey. I was still okay with that. I have never shot a 39 on 9 holes before. I was still thinking “This could still be my best round ever”. Then i topped my tee shot into a pond and ended the round with a 4 putt. When my pride and ego get ahead of me i flop. Every time. It drives me crazy. I hit 3 GIR. But i had a hand full of one putts (1.5 putts per hole average even with a 4 putt). If i missed the green i hit my wedges inside 15′ and made the putt. If I can stop beating myself i could shoot par on 9 holes this summer at least once.

Reply Report comment
Ralph White

Apr 24, 2016 at 6:05 pm

Mr. Smizzle.

You write like a Navy SEAL or a gore-soaked viking. It’s a game. A terrible, complicated game where no one: NO ONE starts as a great shooter. Showing up, putting in the hours and trying is the only way to improve. By your logic, everyone should pack it up that doesn’t come on their first day with a set of Callaways on their first day and break 80. People like you drive beginners (some would have been GREATS) and recreational gamers off the course with your rather bizarre and faulted attitude that this is some sort of blood sport, where the weak are culled for human sacrifice and only those who can bench press 300 while driving the cart on two wheels may get past the putting facility. Quite frankly, you are WRONG. Coach Lombardi would tell you: Champions have character in equal parts to their talent. Character is what prevails when talent fails you on any given stroke.

Good luck to your game, and your set of mega-dollar, bent over your knee clubs. I laugh out loud when I mis-hit. Ask any of my playing partners…. it’s not weakness, it’s called enjoying the game.

Reply Report comment
Jon Sherman

Apr 24, 2016 at 3:51 pm

Mr. Smizzle – I welcome all feedback on my articles (even negative), but I’m having a hard time understanding how you came to that conclusion. I think Derek’s interpretation was a bit more appropriate.

I’m not here to lower golfers’ expectations, I’m here to make them more realistic. Even the best rounds of golf ever played featured mistakes that those players had to overcome. It’s just not possible to have perfection in golf. How you react is the essence of mental toughness, which is something I think every golfer can benefit from.

Either way, thanks for your feedback and hopefully I cleared it up a little bit for you.

Reply Report comment

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